Product description of all recalled items:
Units of all ages, all types, and all models of Homo sapiens.
Defect:
- Loss of direction
- Foul vocal emissions
- Amnesia of origin
- Lack of peace and joy
- Selfish or violent behaviour
- Depression or confusion
- Fearfulness
- Idolatry
- Rebellion
This defect has been identified as “Self Induced Negativity” more commonly known as S.I.N. as it is primarily expressed. (Read about sin here revealed by a raven set loose from Noah’s Ark).
The wrong things we do and the good that we don’t results in spiritual bankruptcy.
We may all think that we are ‘good’, so will that get us to heaven?
Temptation hits us in many ways, how did Jesus counter it?
Does God put us in difficult situations?
Hazard:
This defect of the primary and central component of the heart causes each and every unit to deviate further and further from the original programming and it becomes a danger to itself and those around it.
The same defect is reproduced and passed on to all subsequent units.
What to do:
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing a factory-authorised repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
For further details on the use of these fixes please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Best Instructions Before Leaving Earth).
To proceed with the product recall please use the contact details below:
Contact details:
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R .
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
Remember, you may contact the Father at any time – just speak and you have a direct free line to him.
Promise:
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self control
Warning:
All units not responding to this recall action will be disposed of after a certain amount of time.
The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention.
God.
This has been adapted from an email – author unknown.
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